Mentor
by MrMsMingus
Summary: I started out aiming to write a Joan and Annie conversation that I felt needed to happen at the end of season 3 and the story ended up evolving into this multi-chapter thing that includes some Joan and Arthur moments and lots of unseen moments from the end of S3
1. Chapter 1

_Insert Annie/Joan convorsation after Jai's de classification ceremony and before Annie sees the note on her desk. After the whole almost killing Khalid thing, there is never a conversation between Annie and Joan where they work out their issues and suddenly we're in season 4 (which starts the day after season 3 ended) and Annie is doing anything and everything to help Joan and Arthur. Something had to have happened to go from I don't trust you to, hey let me fake my death for you. I felt like writing something to put in there and it turned into this multi chapter deal. Not really sure how I feel about it, but here is what I have so far….The actual conversation between Joan and Annie is still in the works. Could be awhile. Its hard to do. Please Review and let me know if I should continue or scrap it. _

**Mentor:**

**_Noun: _****An experienced and trusted advisor**

**_Verb: _****to advise or to train (someone, especially a younger colleague)**

* * *

Once Henry Wilcox had finally left the de-classification ceremony for Jai, taking his threatening words to Arthur with him, Joan stood to head back to her office and Annie stood to head home.

Without even thinking, Joan grabbed Annies arm and with a stern, quiet voice ordered, "I need to have a word with you" Seeing the shock and intimidation in Annies eyes, Joan raised her voice back to normal levels before continuing, "My office 20 minutes?"

Annie swallowed hard and nodded. Joan released the young operatives arm and gave Annie a confirming nod before turning to respond to her husband who was now requesting her attention.

After saying goodbyes, and ensuring Henry Wilcox was off the premises, Arthur walked Joan to the DPD. Joan quickly explained she was going to meet with Annie before heading home. Arthur gave Joan a knowing look as they approached the departments entrance. "I'm proud of you" he whispered before giving her a peck on the cheek and promising to wait in his office for her to head home.

Joan walked through the empty room, past the abandoned cubicles to her office in the back corner.

Behind closed doors, Joan stood looking out her window.

Arms crossed.

Brow furrowed.

Deep in thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**_A few days Earlier_**

Joan found herself actually enjoying her day off.

Arthur went to work late that morning and they had spent a much needed morning in bed. Now the house was empty and Joan took a seat at the dinning room table dressed in lounge clothes with a book she had been putting off reading and a warm cup of tea. The stillness of the day letting her mind un-wind and process everything that has happened over the past month.

Her phone buzzing drags her out of the stillness.

Annie Walker's name is displayed as the caller.

Anyone else and she probably would've ignored the call. However, after everything that was said between the two of them she knows her young operative must be in trouble if she has resorted to initiating communication with her.

Joan takes the call,

"Hello"

"Joan"

"Annie?"

"I'm in Zurich with Eyal…..I need a favor"

Taking a deep Breath Joan asked, "What is it?"

"I need 100,000 euros in cash by noon my time"

Joan looks at her watch, "That's less than an hour from now"

"I know it's a lot to ask but, I didn't know else to call"

Joan sighs, part of her glad Annie still trusts her, and part of her is panicking because her request is not easily met and letting Annie down is definitely not on Joans to do list right now.

"You want to tell me what the money is for?"

"Surveillance access" That short blunt response wasn't enough for Joan to scrounge up 100,000 Euros in under an hour on her day off.

"Your going to have to give me more than that, read me in Annie."


	3. Chapter 3

Getting that much money that fast while she was out of the office was going to have to go through Arthur. Joan called him and read him in. After agreeing to have the funds delivered and insisting on handling the paperwork so she wouldn't have to come in she finally hung up the phone. Closing her book, Joan got up and poured out the remainder of her now cold tea down the sink.

So much for not thinking about work. She chuckled at herself and decided to take a walk to clear her mind.

Joan pulled on her black trench coat and dropped her phone in the pocket. Just in case. Locking the door behind her she meandered down the street.

Her mind wandered to the confrontation with Annie a week ago. Joan thrust her hands in her coat pocket and kept walking...and thinking.

_Annie is an excellent operative and would be the prefect protégé. I know Annie needs a mentor, but I don't know how to be one._

Joan sighed at the thought, her breath forming a little white cloud in front of her as she continued on her train of thought.

_When I joined the CIA there were people who tried to mentor me, superiors who tried to help me deal with life as a covert operative, but I successfully managed to push each one of them away. It was easier to deal with the stress by myself. I really believed I could handle it. Trusting people had never gone well for me. I fully understand the psychology behind my decisions, and I should've known better than to fall into the trap. Once I had, keeping my mistakes off book just sent me into more isolation. Sure I had Meg, but even her I kept at arms length and she wasn't a mentor. She was a friend. Annie has Auggie, but she needs someone to train her, to correct her. Someone she trusts to bring her mistakes and fears too._

Joan found herself at a park near her neighborhood. She sat on a bench beside the lake and watched the people buzzing around her. A mother and daughter caught her attention, as they almost always do. Joans mom was a cold woman. They weren't close and she used to envy her friends who could "tell my mom everything". This mother daughter duo walking around the park chatting away with Starbucks in hand made Joan very aware of the hole her lack of closeness with her mother had made in her heart.

Looking away she thought of Annie.

_Regardless of how inadequate I feel to mentor that girl, I have to try. What I told Seth that day was true. More than anything I want to be Annie's constant, a rock Annie can lean on and a safe place when this job gets out of hand. Yes, I am Annies boss, but I've managed to balance the mentor role with Auggie. It wasn't easy at first, but he needed someone to help him work through the reproductions of his injury and I found a way to be that person. Now he is practically a son to me, and to Arthur. Arthur is a great mentor to Auggie. He plays the boss/mentor roles so seamlessly most people probably don't even notice. He has been grooming that boy to move up in the agency since day one and is doing a hell of a job of it._

Joan chuckled, J_ust one more thing about Arthur that will frustrate me, and make me admire him even more_.

Joans eyes scanned the scene again, resting on the mother and daughter now sitting on two swings. Based on their body language, their conversation had turned somewhat more serious. The teenager stared at the sand her feet were drawing shapes in while the mother leaned toward her girl, her facial features exuded sympathy and understanding. Joans heart ached as she realized she would never have a conversation like that with her mom. Her mother had walls the size of the great wall of China. As strong a front as Joan put on it was really just a way to mitigate anymore potential rejection.

Joan didn't know how but somehow she had to find a way to let her walls down enough to let Annie in.

_Annies relationship with Simon mirrored mine with Jonathan so much_, Joan mused. _I recognized the warning signs and chose to ignore them._

Joans heart felt heavy as she wondered if she could've saved Annie from all of the heartache. If she had just been vulnerable with her and told her about her past, maybe the lessons she had learned could've saved Annie from a similar fate. But no, she reinforced her walls and called it good politicking. It wasn't her place to insert herself into Annies life and Lenas op. But maybe she should have.

"Really she handled everything much better than I did." Joan said to herself _To my knowledge, Annie hasnt turned to drugs to numb the pain._

Joan leaned her head back watching the cloud move across the grey sky.

_On that note, what can I possibly teach her if I was incapable of keeping my own life together._

The recent relapse threw itself into Joans conscious thoughts. Shame gripped Joans mind. She squinted her eyes and shook it off. Remembering how forgiving and understanding Arthur had been once she let him in on what was going on. Annies words had hurt Joan, but if Arthur could forgive her for relapsing, Joan could forgive Annie for speaking so harshly. What Annie said was probably true, but it was out of line. Her method of communication needed to be addressed, but so did the content of her message. Joan let out a heavy sigh. What Annie dumped on Joan that day was more salient than either had realized at the moment.

Joan turned to where the mother/daughter team had been swinging. They were gone now. Checking her phone she realized it was already after 6 o'clock. Arthur would be home soon and wondering where she was. Not wanting to give him reason worry, Joan stood and walked briskly back to the house.


	4. Chapter 4

A little after 7 Joan slipped through the front door and out of her coat. Turning to head into the kitchen she turned right into her husband standing in the hall who had beaten her home.

Pulling Joan into an embrace, Arthur spoke, his voice laced with fear and worry, "Where were you?" Pulling away to look her in the eye, he continued "Joan, I was worried out of my mind when I got home and you weren't here!"

Joan apologized for being late, "I was on a walk and I lost track of time." Joan let out a sigh, "I'm sorry Arthur. There is no need to worry." then she leaned into him and pressed a kiss on his lips.

"I grabbed takeout Italian for dinner" Arthur said as Joan noticed the meal laid out in the dining room. Arthur pulled out a chair for her to sit down and commented "Its your day off, you shouldn't have to cook"

With a gracious smile, Joan entered the room and took her seat. Arthur piled alfredo on their plates before settling in next to her.

"So, I know we swore off shop talk for the time you are taking off but I thought you would want to know, Annie and Eyal received the money on time. I expect we will hear from them in the next 24 hours"

"Thank you for helping me take care of that."

With a chuckle Arthur responded, "I haven't done funds approval paperwork in years, Joan. It took me half the day to remember how to fill out all those ridiculous forms."

Joan gave him a flirty grin "Must be nice to be the boss"

"When it means I dont have to do all the grunt work...yes" Arthur winked at his wife. "What have you been up too except walking around the neighborhood all day?"

"Thinking about how to fix my relationship with my operative" she said in a monotone voice. Embarrassment rushed over her when she realized she had said it aloud. Joan slowly looked up and with widening eyes she met Arthurs raised eyebrow. Trying to recover come control after letting her emotions get the best of her Joan went on, "I...I mean..."

Arthur interjected, "Joan, I am fully aware of what you meant." Leaning in close he took her hand and looked into her eyes, "Annie does trust you, and you are a great manager to her and everyone in the DPD."

"I don't want to just be her boss or her manager, Arthur, she needs a mentor, she needs someone she can trust and let her guard down with. I want to be that person I am just not sure if its even possible after all that has been said." Joan pulled her hand away and looked down at her plate absently twirling pasta around her fork.

Arthur pushed Joans chin up with his index finger and made her meet his eyes before continuing, "When she was in a bind today, she called you Joan. She knows you are a safe place. I think you feel guilty for not reading her in on our past when you found out about her and Simon, but she doesn't blame you for what happened. And you have to stop blaming yourself"

Joan sighed and looked at him with a mixture of sadness, admiration and annoyance in her eyes. Sometimes she hated how well that man could read her thoughts.

"Joan, just read her in. Telling her about what you went through in Nairobi with Jonathan will help her get over this. And personally, I think you turned out pretty great in spite of all you went through, and I am proud of you." Arthur leaned in to kiss her.

Resting her forehead against Arthurs she just said, "Thank you". She grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. "What did I do to deserve you?"

Arthur stood and pulled her up to her full height before wrapping her in his arms and whispering against her neck, "No, what did _I _do to deserve you" before covering her slender neck in kisses and drawing a soft moan out of his blonde wife that told him it was okay to continue. Joan pulled him even closer as her husband made his way down her neck to her chest. "I love you Arthur" she whispered as she moved her hands up to his shoulders.

Arthur drew her up into his arms and carried her up to their bedroom. Their dinner left forgotten on the table.


	5. Chapter 5

Joan awoke to her naked husband frantically looking for something in the dark while talking to himself.

"Arthur?" She asked turning on the bedside lamp and pulling on her robe that hung on the chair in the corner. She glanced at the clock, 2a.m.

He was looking through his pants pocket when the light came on and grabbed his attention, "There is a phone going off somewhere and it is driving me crazy, but after last night" he paused to grin at her "I have no idea where our phones even are."

Joan chuckled at the sight in front of her. "Arthur it's coming from downstairs. Its probably my phone in my coat pocket."

Arthur dropped the clothes he was holding and started to walk out of the room.

Joan slid herself into the doorway in front of him using her body to block his path.

"Arthur, put on some clothes. I'll get my phone and be right back up." She kissed his cheek and headed downstairs.

Sure enough it was her phone blaring and destroying the stillness of the night.

Joan answered, "Hello?"

"Joan! I'm sorry to wake you" Annies voice sounded panicked on the other end.

"Its okay Annie, what has happened? You sound terrible"

"Khalids men found Eyal and I last night at the safehouse. He was taken. I got away. I was tracking him via the mosquito tracker he put in his leg, but they must've found it because I just found the tracker attached to a phone under a bench."

"Annie, slow down. Do you have any idea where they would take him?" Joan asked calmly but firmly.

"No, he asked for the names of people working for the CIA that are in his dads inner circle."

Joan rubbed her head and sighed

"We don't have anyone, do we Joan?"

"No, Annie we don't. Not to my knowledge." Joan paused and she heard Annies hard breathing on the other line "Annie, you need to go to ground. Get a burner cell and text me on my secure line so I can contact you and ditch the phone your on. Arthur and I will head into the office and call you if we come up with anything, but Annie"

"Yes Joan"

"He is a member of a competing spy service. There is probably nothing we can do"

"No, Joan he isn't. He quit Mossad. Nobody is coming for him. I am all he has"

Taking a deep breath Joan responded, "Go to ground. We will be at Langley in an hour. I will call you when we come up with something."

"Okay"

"And Annie, be careful"

"I will"

The line went dead as Arthur shuffled down the hallway now in plaid pajama pants and a white tee shirt. He grabbed her waist from behind. Feeling her tense body he stopped.

"Joan what is it?"

Joan turned to face him. Her eyes were set intensely on him. "Eyal has been taken by Khalids men. Annie is working a plan to extract him. We need to get to the office and see what intel we can pull together, if any, that will help her."

Arthur gave her a stern look, "Eyal is mossad"

"Not anymore and regardless Annie will feel obligated to help him after Russia." Putting a hand on his chest she continued "Arthur, I just want to make sure she has all the intel she needs to do this as safely as she can." Tilting her head and looking Arthur in the eye she stated, "I'm not leaving her out in the cold again."

Not waiting for a response, Joan walked past Arthur and headed up stairs to get ready for what she expected would be a long day at work. Arthur turned to clean up the forgotten meal before heading up stairs to get dressed.

About half an hour later the Campbells were in the car. Shortly after Arthur pulled out of the driveway, Joan called Auggie and ordered (really requested) him to meet Annie and provide whatever assistance he could. The streets were practically empty as Arthur sped towards Langley around 3a.m. Joan arranged a military transport for Auggie from Afghanistan to Zurich.

He was all too eager. Joan chuckled once she hung up. Annie and Auggie had been dancing around a relationship since the day they met. If Joan were being perfectly honest, it would make her happy to see the two of them together.

But now wasn't the time for matchmaking.


	6. Chapter 6

It was hours later before Joan had a moment to sit down in her own office. Upon arriving at Langley she ran into Barber who had pulled an all nighter. Joan asked him to join her in Arthurs office quickly reading him in as they cantered down the hallway. Barber informed Joan and Arthur he had an asset in Zurich who could help. She called Annie on the burner cell and put her in contact with Barbers asset as Arthur set up on the conference table in his office.

It was now just after 3p.m. and she had been working non-stop for 12 hours. It had been complete chaos but they got Auggie on the ground and got Annie the intel she needed and were now awaiting the results of their frenzied efforts.

Joan was about to head down to grab a coffee when her office line rang. It was Arthur. "Joan"

"Arthur?" she responded with a question lingering in her voice.

"Joan I need you in my office. Right now." The urgency and intensity in his voice made Joan halfway run up to his office.

Joan passed Arthurs secretary without a word and just walked in, "What is going on Arthur?"

He was sitting behind his desk looking exhausted and stressed as he leaned over a file he was intently reading. He leaned back in his chair as his wife approached his desk. "Annie and Auggie managed to get Eyal and in the process she also managed tuned Khalid. They are on their way home."

Joan rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Of course she did. This is Annie"

Arthur gave her a weak smile. His eyes wandered giving away the fact his thoughts were obviously not on the Zurich op.

"Okay, what else is going on, because on the phone you didn't sound like you had good news for me." Joan crossed her arms and walked around to lean against the desk next to where Arthur was sitting.

"Henry Wilcox has requested and been granted a visit to Langley for Jai's declassification ceremony tomorrow." There was a hint of distain in Arthurs voice.

"What" Joans jaw dropped slightly in shock "They are going to let a man guilty of treason back into this building."

Arthur just nodded gravely.

"Well, it is just for a few hours. We can have a security detail on him the entire time."

"Oh, I plan on it." Arthur said authoritatively as he sat up straight in his chair and leaned onto his desk. "That man just has a way of manipulating every situation to get what he wants. Joan" he said looking up into her eyes "I cant stand it. He never should've been let out of prison."

Joan took his hand, "I agree"

Arthur sighed, "I have a little bit of work to finish up, but do you want to go grab an early dinner then head home?"

"Yes, just come get me when you're ready to go" Joan said as she leaned down to kiss his forehead. Before walking back to her office. Her thoughts jumping from Henry to Annie and the conversation that would have to happen when she got home.


	7. Chapter 7

Joan and Arthur walked into the declassification ceremony the following day hand in hand in spite of their mutual distain for public displays of affection.

Arthur held Joans hand tighter than usual as if he was trying to help hold her together.

Opening up to him about Annie and how inadequate she had been feeling had made her and Arthur closer than ever. She took comfort in having him there and in knowing he knew what was running through her mind. (even tho she would never admit that to him).

Arthur ushered her to a seat on the second row behind Henry before pressing a soft kiss on her temple and taking his place at the podium.

Joan was greeting the agents filing in when she saw Annie leading Auggie through the door. Catching Annies attention Joan summoned them to take seats beside her. She was barely able to contain her joy from having them both home.

Giving Auggie a quick hug Joan commented "Nice to have you back solider"

"Nice to be back, and thank you Joan." Auggie replied as he felt his way down the rows of chairs.

Annie was standing awkwardly in the aisle the rows of chairs made.

One look at her young operative and empathy filled Joan's eyes, "I'm glad you are home too Annie."

"Thank you for coming through with everything." Annie managed to say through gritted teeth.

Joan gave the girl a weak smile before motioning for Annie to take the seat between her and Auggie.

Annie nodded and settled into her seat.

Joan glanced up at her husband as she turned to take her own seat. He met her gaze instantly. With just that look he communicated strength and encouragement to Joan.

She took her seat on the end of the row giving her husband a forced smile. Her stomach was in knots as her husband began the ceremony.

It was a solemn event, but Joan sensed that the operative sitting beside her was especially tense.

Joan barely heard a word of Arthurs speech, she was too busy going over what she needed to say to Annie and wishing this ceremony was scheduled to last longer.

_I can do this_ she coached herself. _And I am going to do this. For Arthur and especially for Annie. _


	8. Chapter 8

Joan was still looking out her window trying to gather her thoughts when she heard a faint knock on her office door. Taking a deep breath Joan turned toward the sound.

"Come in"

Annie slowly walked into the room. Head down, blonde hair veiling her face, dragging her feet. Joan had never seen the girl look so heavy before. Joan uncrossed her arms and motioned for Annie to take a seat on the couch before pulling a chair over from her desk and placing it across from Annie.

Now seated across from the young operative, Joan put her left arm on the chairs armrest and leaned into it. Annie was sitting on the edge of her seat, back straight like she expected a new order or was anticipating a confrontation. Joan clasped her hands in front of her and fiddled with her wedding ring before meeting the operatives' wide eyes.

Annies walls were up, her eyes were blank, and Joan saw a glimmer of fear. Best to dismiss that first she thought.

"Annie, first off, you aren't in trouble."

Annie blinked and relaxed her glazed over stare and really met Joans eyes for the first time. That's when Joan saw what she needed to see to push her to go on. Hope.

"I wanted too...I want to tell you a story, Annie."

Annie shot Joan an inquisitive look before leaning back into the couch and bringing her right fist to rest on the side of her head. "Okay..."

Joan pushed her shoulders back and took a deep breath and began.

"I want to tell you about an operative we had once. She was fresh off the farm. One of her first overseas assignments was to get intel on an MI6 operative who we suspected was also working for the IRA and based on chatter we heard, was also a core part of a crew of IRA members planning a terrorist attack on a US embassy. The operation went smoothly. She ran into him a few times in England using her NOC. After gaining his trust he started inviting her to spend time with him and she was eventually able to access intel that verified the agencies suspicions and then Langley ordered her home. However, she came home with an ambitious plan, which the agency decided to support. The operative believed she could turn the target. He had invited her to join him and some other acquaintances on vacation in Nairobi for a week. The agency already had operatives on the ground where he was vacationing so the CIA approved the operation and she was sent back into the field."

Joan paused and examined her young operatives face. Annie was clearly engaged in the story so Joan continued.

"Things went as planned on the ground. Her NOC seemed bulletproof and the other operatives who were in the field with her reported no red flags."

With a sigh Joan turned her head away from Annie, "The operative crossed a line with the target and they became intimate."

Annie squirmed a little as she began to realize where this was going. Joan looked back at her and met her intimidated gaze with raised eyebrows.

"High risk, high reward, and it paid off. The target was an ocean of intel. The targets acquaintances left after a week, but our operative decided to stay with the target a little longer. Her NOC allowed it and again, the agency approved it. One other operative, also relatively green, stayed on the ground with her as sort of a handler, but she was also working her own op. The week long operation turned into a long term covert assignment. The young operative never saw it coming. Her last day with him they planned to spend on a remote island off the coast of Kenya. Protocols were for the second agent on the ground to follow them."

A wave of emotions hit Joan. She paused and stood up. Walking around the chair she turned her back to Annie and tried to focus on the task at hand and not let her emotions get away from her. She regained control and crossed her arms. Turning back to face Annie, she continued the story.

"The two undercover ops discussed it and decided it was too risky for her to follow them. So, the operative went with the target. Alone. The target had known all along that she was CIA. Once they were isolated, he turned on her."

Annie leaned forward on the couch placed her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands. Joan swallowed hard and set her jaw as she went on...

"The operative took a beating, a concussion, broken ribs and fingers. A massive cut on the back of her head where he slashed her with a pistol, but he underestimated her ability. That operative was a master in hand to hand combat. It was part of why she was placed in the field. She eventually overtook the target. When he realized her plan was to bring him in and not kill him, he scrambled for his gun she had kicked across the sand. His cover was blown and..." Joans voice cracked for a moment looking out the window above Annies head as she continued trying to disguise the pain in her voice, "…for him being captured was his greatest fear….He won control of the gun... put it in his mouth... and pulled the trigger."

Annies mouth dropped open. Joan looked at the ceiling as if expecting some supernatural strength to come help her finish the conversation.

"The operative was physically beaten up, and lucky to be alive yes, but the psychological damage of seeing him die was worse. Back in the states she was hospitalized for over a week because of her injuries. They put her on narcotics. Yes, the painkillers made her physical pain manageable but it also numbed the shame and guilt she felt. Not to mention the pain of someone she loved dying. She came home to a heroes welcome having taken out a known terrorist, but she knew she didn't deserve it and that reality weighed on her. The drugs became a coping mechanism when the job started getting to her or when the nightmares of his death returned."

Annie leaned back against the couch and covered her mouth in shock as she put the pieces together. Joan frowned and walked around to take the chair she had set in front of Annie leaning forward toward her young operative.

"Annie, the targets name was Jonathan Doyle. I fell in love with him and he was my first covert mission. Lena was the operative that was there with me. While I was running around with Jonathan, she was getting in bed with the Russian FSB. Me going in alone that day was an unnecessary risk."

Joan rapidly searched Annies eyes expecting anger or disappointment but found a mix of pain and compassion in them. Joan bit her quivering lip.

"When I came home I felt like I was still alone, still half dead on that island and I felt like a failure. I had isolated myself so no one would find out exactly what happened during that operation." Forcing herself to take a deep breath Joan shook her head slowly and looked at the floor adding quietly, "I still struggle with my addiction to this day."

Joan sighed and sat back in the chair to survey the damage. Annie had tears in her eyes and Joan fought to keep them out of hers. Joan moved onto the couch beside Annie and looked straight at her.

Joan ended the story with, "Annie, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? I should be sorry." Annie said with a dry laugh.

Joan tilted her head and looked at the girl, "I'm sorry for not stepping in earlier. I saw the signs while you were with Simon. I knew but I was too afraid to address it because it would mean exposing myself. And while you were in Russia I was half out of it most days because I had relapsed. You needed me and I wasn't there. Annie, what you said the other day to me, about Eyal and how I left you to rot..." The words were painful as Joan rehearsed them. Annie turned her head to face straight ahead and swallowed hard. Joan saw anger mixed with regret on her face.

Joan leaned her head sideways and caught the corner of Annies eyes, "You were right. You never should have addressed me like that but what you said was justified."

Annie stiffly turned to meet Joans eyes again.

"I want you to be able to trust me. Arthur, Auggie and I care about you, Annie Walker, not just you the operative. I promise to be in your corner, to…to open up and teach you everything I know, but I need something from you in exchange."

Annie nodded, "I need you to never attack me like you did the other day. I am your boss and my decisions are final. And I need you to stop blaming yourself for what happened with Simon...Annie, I am glad you are in my department and I am proud of you and...I am here for you. I want to help you deal with this but you have to keep me in the loop. Okay?"

A tear fell out of Annies eye and she softly replied, "Okay."

Joan wrapped a motherly arm around the girls shoulders.

"Joan?" Annies voice requested her attention.

"Mhmmm?"

"I'm sorry for causing you so much pain. I didn't know."

Joan nodded and gave her a weak smile, "I know you didn't and I forgive you"

Annie smiled at Joan and took a deep breath. She felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders. She respected Joan and was thankful, so thankful to be staying in her department. Auggie had been right, some bridges were worth the effort of repairing.

They shared an awkward laugh as Joan rose to stand offering Annie her hand to help her stand as well Joan said, "Well, it is very late and we should head home."

"Yes ma'am" Annie grinned as she let out her sarcastic response.

Annie waited by the door for Joan put the chair back in its proper place and grab her coat.

Leaving Joans side and heading for her desk Annie felt Joans questioning gaze and turned to explain, "I need to respond to an email then I'll head straight home"

Joan gave Annie a soft glare that communicated that's all she better do.

"I promise,"

Joan chuckled and headed out the door, "Okay, Goodnight Annie"

Annie arrived at her desk to find an unmarked envelope. She yelled, "Night Joan" as she broke its seal.


	9. Chapter 9

As the elevator doors closed, Joan reached for the button that would take her to the seventh floor.

She relaxed against the elevators back wall and crossed her arms letting out a sigh of satisfaction and a faint smile.

The impossible conversation with Annie went better than she thought possible. It was a story she had worked hard to keep a secret. One she never even planned on telling her husband, much less one of her employees turned protégé.

The elevator bell informed Joan she was almost at her destination. She stepped out and started the trek down the hall to her husbands office. Her memory flashed back to a frustrating time in their relationship. A time when his office was on a different floor and Joan's was in a cubicle not much different from Annies…

Not long after Arthurs divorce was final he stumbled upon an inconsistency in his Joan's file. A file he had originally pulled to help set Joan up to take his job once he was promoted to DCS. The DNI had been hinting it was coming soon. A red flag flew up as Arthur read about an operation that started in London and ended in Nairobi. The description of Joan's injuries didn't match what the file reported happened.

Joan remembered the absolute terror she felt when Arthur tried to casually bring it up over dinner one night. She had gone to great lengths to keep the truth off book, but Arthur had a way of reading Joan. A way of looking past her walls and perceiving what was behind them.

To Joan it was a superpower of his that comforted and frustrated her simultaneously.

It made Joan's stomach twist as she remembered the look on his face as she tried to explain the inconsistencies away that night.

It didn't work.

Arthur demanded the truth and Joan told him almost the same story she had just told Annie. She did manage to leave out her struggle with narcotics. Joan believed she had beat that habit, and didn't want to give Arthur more reason to be overprotective. And she didn't want to jeopardize his future as the DCS.

Joan rounded the hallway corner on her way to her husbands office, the office of the DCS. She rolled her eyes as she realized the mutual desire to protect each other she and Arthur shared.

When Joan finished unloading her past on Arthur he just stared at her. Speechless.

Now, Joan knows it was his obsessive desire to keep her safe that caused the tension, but then he just seemed angry, closed off, and disappointed and there was no one else in the world Joan hated to disappoint more than Arthur.

It was the first time Arthur opted to stay at a hotel instead of with her.

Heels clicking as she continued her walk to his office Joan shuddered at the memory. Arthur's response, the tension, the shame, it had thrown her into a relapse.

Her change in temperament and behavior caught Arthurs' attention. One evening at the end of a working day Arthur had called her to his office to confront her. He had seen her in her dark place and had stepped in to lead her out.

It was the first time Joan was thankful for his obsessive overprotective ways.

It was the moment she realized she needed him more than she ever wanted to admit.

And it was the night Arthur checked out of the hotel and came home.

_Everything is better when he is home_ Joan mused as she arrived at his office door. Coming back to reality, she paused to take a deep breath before reaching for the door handle. She was going to put on a somber face and play with Arthurs head, but when she opened the door and saw him lounging on the couch waiting for her, she couldn't contain her joy.

Feeling like the luckiest woman in the world she leaned back against the door to close it giving Arthur an exuberant smile when he looked up and caught her glimmering eyes.

Taking off his glasses and setting down the file he was reading Arthur swung his legs off the couch and turned his body to face her.

"Now, I haven't seen you smile like that since you came back after rescuing Meg in Mexico last year….."

He stood and started moving towards his glowing wife. "I'll take it your chat with Annie went well?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Joan chuckled and rolled her eyes grinning as she replied, "I feel like I just won a war Arthur. And honestly..." Joan cocked her head sideways and continued, "I'm feeling a little proud of myself."

Arthur reached and grabbed her waist, pulling her body away from the door. "I'm proud of you Joan" He whispered before covering her lips with his. She responded and wrapped her arms around his waist, reciprocating the kiss.

Coming up for air, Arthur leaned back to look her in the eye and with a hint of sarcasm in his voice he continued, "And I want to hear all about how you managed to win a war...and all about how I was right making you talk to Walker."

"Oh you do?" Joan responded coyly.

Arthur stepped back and took her hands in his, "Mhmm….and when we get home, I expect a full report."

Joan just laughed at him as he let go of one of her hands before reaching to open the door and lead her out of the building. They hadn't left the office feeling so carefree in years and while they both knew moments like this were few and far between in their line of work, they couldn't help but hope the feeling of contentment would last.


End file.
